I am David Beckham's bitch

My first Chinese girlfriend was mental. Hot to trot but mental. We fought constantly. At one point in our two year relationship I told her "Do you know how many times we've broken up and gotten back together? FIVE times!" She shot back with a straight face "That's not so many times."

That's how I feel with David right now. I had him all to myself in Shanghai in 2007, when he walked right past me coming out of the closed to the public practice I had gotten into and all I could think of to say was the Aussie-ism "Good on ya Dave!" He turned and he shot the million dollar smile back, just for me...

Then the whole circus this week. He's in the Home Depot Center for LA Galaxy vs. Chivas USA. I am too. The Gs pull out a win. Then I remember his A.C.Milan teammates used him as a good luck charm literally during the loan. Then the kiss and make-up with Landon. Then last night, in New York Giants Stadium he does just that, he brings good luck to the Galaxy who demolish NY Red Bull 3-1. During his shirtless post match interview, his pecs muscles rippling with tattoos, I can hear the NY ultra supporters chanting "F**k off Beckham."

Today I am at TJ Maxx, a bargain fashion bin in rural San Diego, getting some clothes for my 4 year old. There is a long sleeve LA Galaxy Beckham #23 away going for $15, marked down from $24, from an original $50. I close my eyes, vow only to wear it in back in Asia and I buy it. Next, when I get to my brother's, where I am staying, my copy of The Beckham Experiment, the new Grant Wahl, tell-all book, is waiting for me.

After I read the intro and start gorging on the filth and the fury I wait up for the 10 pm Fox Soccer Report, a new experience as I bought the channel for the month I am back in the States. I break my promise and I put on the #23 strip, then watch Dave lie to Nick Webster. Then he tells the truth that he wants to go back to Europe after the end of this MLS season, play in Serie A or wherever, get on England's WC 2010 team, THEN, lying again, come back to LA and MLS and 'honor his commitments.' Fortunately my brother and his family are asleep and they don't see me walk over to the TV with my shirt on and the new book in my hand and start dry-humping Dave's face.

The things I do to support this sport. But if he get the Gs into the playoffs, the semis and the MLS Cup it's all good? Really?
I love the PR, I love that people in China know about my team and my league. But I feel like a battered wife who always goes back. What if he comes back in 2011, like that drunk wifebeater at 3 a.m with his buddies, this time as a team OWNER in league with Fuller, 19 and Tim L??

You know he'll smile at the hard core Los Angeles fans when they curse and throw the fake money and raise the hate banners. "That's not so many times."